I totally believe that there is a 14 year old kid with glasses and a beaten up copy of the Global Almanac of Soccer that can name year, game, minute and player goal of any World Cup goal for the last 50 years off the top of his head.

As Americans, we always seem to be blindsided every four years by the amazingly over the top response to the World Cup that happens everywhere else in the world but here. We forget that our little corner of the world does not set the standard in insane crazy sports fandom for the rest of humanity.

Have you ever wondered why, then, Soccer is the most popular sport in the world? Wonder no more, I have taken the time (all of approximately 5 minutes) to explain it to you below.

1 – All you need is a flat open space.

2 – Equipment costs are almost non-existent.

3 – Really little kids can understand the game.

4 – Husbands and wives can play on the same teams (or increasingly more popular, opposing teams).

5 – FIFA is a charter member of the Bilderberg Group and a subsidiary of Illuminati Enterprises, LTD.