Krog’s Year in Review: 1,000,001 BC

The year 1,000,001 BC was a big year for the Tribe. I, Krog, son of Kroc, son of Kran, have kept records of all that has happened to us and have chosen the following items as the biggest things to represent the time that is now behind us, as we look forward to a new Megennium.

Music – Yagu took a giant step forward in his experimental tribal circle meeting sound by hauling a large fallen dead tree in, and using a big hand held rock to pound on it. He has stated publicly that he plans to adjust the speed of the pounding based on the emotional atmosphere of the tribal gathering. Slower pounding for boring unimportant discussions and fast, rapid pounding for important discussions. When the females meet, he is thinking of using a soft caress like pounding. He feels like this will up his visibility during the mating times. Good luck with that Yagu. Keep on rocking.

Art – Loana, the fire haired outsider who joined the tribe after the first big rain, completely tossed the whole Tribe into an uproar. Though she does not speak our language, she quickly impressed the Tribal Males with the artful way in which she would spear fish for food and pick lice from scalps. The Males in turn started adding a burnt orange to their cave paintings and swooping circular patterns that dominated what were previously pastoral scenes of grazing animals. Meanwhile the Tribal Females have developed a sickness of the eyes which makes Loana invisible to them. The Tribal Healers are looking into what could be causing this currently.

Science – Lead Tracker for the Hunt, Hok, made an astonishing observation when he said he thinks that the cold times that drives us all to the warm caves on the other side of the mountains are predictable. In his words, “I believe that the cold and the warm repeat regularly, like the Crazy Barking Wolf spins around and around as it chases after itself. We are just like that Crazy Barking Wolf, and so is the air and world around us. Always chasing after itself, around and around and around.” Hok died shortly after saying this when he tried to make the Crazy Barking Wolf stop chasing itself and it attacked him, may he continue his hunt with the ancestors.

Technology – “Fire is not our enemy. I think it can be the next big tool in our caves. We will one day be able to control it.” And so started a yearlong debate among tribal elders on whether Grok, one of the Tribal Healers, should be killed and exiled from the ancestors. Grok has not walked back his statement, but he has recently softened his tone by saying that the “Loud Sky Fires still come from the Night Gods to consume our flesh, while the Little Stick Fires are mostly harmless and our friends and should be trained for the good of the caves”. Beba the witch had no comment, but did spit in Grok’s path as he walked past.

Politics – Crazy Atuk challenged Chief Rada for Tribal Leadership. Following that there was the usual Public Preening Displays by both Warriors, the rallies for the Females, the rallies for the Hunters, the rallies for the young and the old, the Feats of Skill. Crazy Atuk polled really well with the Gatherers by promising them first taste of all Tribal food, Chief Rada polled well with the young and old by promising to keep them safe and not leave them behind to be picked off by the Sabre-Teeth that follow in the dark. Ultimately, the final decision was made, as always, in battle when Chief Rada quickly smashed in Crazy Atuk’s skull with a large wooden club and then danced on the lifeless body. We wish all Challenges into the future would go as smoothly as this one did.

And that sums up the big happenings of the past year. Here is to an amazing 1,000,000 BC to us all.

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