This has been an exceptionally long year. A year that I am sure we all would overwhemlingly prefer not to have existed.

So, in the spirit of the season and the longing for a year that we all wanted and would have preferred, but didn’t ultimately get to have – here are my top 5 favorite books of that alternate 2020. But don’t really exist in this 2020.

Atlas Pugged – Atlas Shrugged as told from the Point of View of Dagny Taggart’s pet Pug, Sir Reginald Puggington Taggart III, who has his own journey to go on as he uncovers the mystery behind “Who is Jellica Galt?”

Johnny Godzilla and the Kaiju Gang: The Mystery of Mysterion – Garrett “King” Ghidorah has kidnapped the lovely Marilyn Mothra, and only Johnny Godzilla can save her. But he will need help from the Kaiju Gang (Randy Radon, Manny Megalon, Jimmy “Jet” Jaguar, and Donna Destroyah) if he wants to save her in time.

The Art of Snore – A compelling Taoist Treatise on the societal impacts of snoring, and the underlying meaning of the many different types of snores. Includes illustrated diagrams of the best sleeping positions to help raise your snoring to all 36 Levels of Heaven.

The Withered Hand and Plow Share Sword Chronicles – a 35 book Sword and Sorcery series that follows a year in the lives of 173 central main characters as they prepare for war, including a lot of segues into Dragon Husbandry and Magic Philosophy, with only a modicum of Incest.

Sebastian Lane – a lyrical literal trip down memory lane as we follow the full history of Sebastian Lane from when it was just an uneven path through a field that the cattle followed, to the first wagon wheels to pass over it, to its heyday as the main thoroughfare in Sebastionville, and ultimately to its forgotten end when the New Interstate was built across town.

Larry Linville: Just the Sexy Parts – an In Depth Tell-All Biography of Larry Linville (Major Frank Burns on TV’s MASH), from his early days as a background actor in 1960’s Stag Films, to his legendary Sexcapades as the most wanted (desired) man in Hollywood.